The parenting thing is hard--very hard. GG had an appointment last week to have her speech checked out. She is going to start therapy in the near future. She is very independent and really rather play and be by herself. She will even go into the basement by herself to play. That seems odd. She is odd, but I love her for all her oddities. So I am doing the right thing, trying to get her help so she will speak. Yet at the same time asking for help seems like I somehow failed her. Luke is having a tuff time with the entire work thing. Maybe because he is so used to having me home. Last night he was in tears, and that was after a huge temper tantrum. Anakin, well he is all smiles and hugs, maybe it will come after I start. Am I ready for this?
The only thing that helps, is I am doing the right thing. This is what I am supposed to do. This will help my family, and help other children. Even though I know it's right, it still hard the next 17 1/2 weeks will be hard on everyone!
I am going to give myself a little pep talk now---Go, Go, Go!!!! I AM READY! It didn't really work, but maybe thinking about the good things will:
- I am thankful I will be student teaching at a great school with a great teacher!
- I am thankful that when my husband is home from work, he does a great job with the kids.
- I am thankful that he has the boys spring break, and I have a different spring break. That will give the kids two weeks of just being home!
- I am thankful I found great and loving places for the children.
- I am thankful I found a master's program, and that my microsoft skills helped pay for this program.
- I am thankful that what I love to do will fit into my children's lives!
- I am thankful for the gospel and the spirit that can give you confidence to press forward!
- I am thankful for the scriptures and words of Latter-day prophets and apostles.
- I am thankful for this talk Remember Lot's Wife
- I am thankful for my calling!
- I am thankful for my blog, that I can write out my feelings and gain courage from them.
I might not be ready, but I think I'll keep going anyways!
9 comments:
Good luck tomorrow! I will be thinking about you.
Remember your word: Thrive!
Totally - that word is so perfect! Good luck to you and your family. You are doing a good thing! remember that!
Good luck! I'm sure you're more ready than you think. I hope your kids do well, too.
You are more ready than I ever was to tackle a new challenge like this.( I NEVER had the laundry up to date either ) Our thoughts and prayers are with you and the whole family. Luke sounds as though he has the same problem Liz did when i went to work at the Lab. I only went from 8:30 to 12:30, but at 12 years old, she still fretted and panicked about no one being home. Make sure he knows you still have your cell phone, and you really will not be any further away ( one car ride) than when you were at school.
You are an awesome parent for GG! You are getting her the help she needs. That is not failing. That is being all you can be! She is beautiful and lovable. And you are more than competent to care for her. also--reach out a lot to her through music. It's magic!!!
I am certain you are as ready as you can be. Breathe. You're going to do great. Remember that every day is a new day, with no mistakes in it. Remember that although the parents & students (basically) expect you to be a God -that you are human. Accept yourself and forgive yourself. Do you're best during the day, stay late & finish your work there, let home be your home & work be your work. And, more than anything, keep in mind that loving them is enough. Even if you feel like you're failing in one area or with one student or another, love is enough.
It's quite possible that the one student who makes your life a living hell day in and day out will one day find you on facebook and send you a message about how much they loved you and what a great teacher you were and that they're really sorry for treating you so badly back then.
At least this is my wisdom from experience. Best of luck to you.
I hope you had a great day! Sounds like you were more than ready.
You will do great. Just jump in with both feet. It is hard but so worth it.
That was a great talk: Remember Lot's Wife. Thank you for posting the link.
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